List of My Dad Wrote a Porno episodes
My Dad Wrote a Porno is a British podcast hosted by Jamie Morton, James Cooper, and Alice Levine. Each episode features Morton reading a new chapter of an amateur erotic novel, titled Belinda Blinked, written by his father under the pen name Rocky Flintstone. Morton, Cooper, and Levine react to the material and provide running commentary.[1]
Episodes and chapters
Series 1
Full title: Belinda Blinked 1; 1 A modern story of sex, erotica and passion. How the sexiest sales girl in business earns her huge bonus by being the best at removing her high heels.[2]
| Episode Title | Release Date | Plot Synopsis | |
|---|---|---|---|
| S1E1 | 'The Job Interview' | 4 October 2015 | Belinda interviews for the role of International Sales Director at Steele's Pots and Pans. |
| S1E2 | 'The Leather Room' | 4 October 2015 | Belinda is settling into her new position at Steele's, and enjoys a steamy midday romp with colleague Giselle and managing director Tony in the office Leather Room. |
| S1E3 | 'The Regional Sales Meeting' | 11 October 2015 | Belinda prepares for a big meeting with her regional sales managers and uses her assets to motivate the team during an after-work drinks session at the Pentra with Giselle and Bella. |
| S1E4 | 'The Maze / The First Client' | 18 October 2015 | Belinda arrives in at the country home of chairman Sir James Godwin for a big company outing, and is surprised to be handcuffed to a trellis in a medium-sized maze! Then, she meets her first client: Alfonse Stirbacker from Belgium. |
| S1E5 | 'The Second Client Jim Stirling' | 26 October 2015 | A second man encounters Belinda in the maze: Jim Sterling from Texas, USA. Despite his aggressive nature and lack of endowment, Belinda closes the deal. |
| S1E6 | 'The Third Client Peter Rouse' | 1 November 2015 | Belinda meets her third and final client of the day: Peter Rouse from Amsterdam. She is instantly enchanted by the handsome Rouse, who draws symbols on her back to indicate their sexual connection and promises to meet her again that night. |
| S1E7 | 'The Tombola' | 8 November 2015 | Belinda is freed from the maze, and discovers that the event is a charity tombola to benefit the Asses and Donkeys Trust. She, along with a disheveled Bella and Giselle, are auctioned off as sexual servants—and Belinda goes to the highest bidder, the mysterious Duchess. |
| S1E8 | 'The Chalet' | 15 November 2015 | The Duchess collects her prize and brings Belinda to a nearby chalet in an upholstered horse box. The two women enjoy their rendezvous aided by the Duchess's beloved black leather dildo. After the romp, Belinda ties up the Duchess and steals her clothing and car to return for her meeting with Peter. |
| S1E9 | 'The Horse and Jockey' | 22 November 2015 | Belinda makes it back to the Horse and Jockey Inn, where she enjoys a leisurely dinner and meets the charming young-ish man who works at reception. |
| S1E10 | 'Sunday Night 11:55 pm' | 29 November 2015 | Peter arrives at the Horse and Jockey, where he and Belinda put on a show in the lobby. |
| S1E11 | 'The Night Receptionist' | 6 December 2015 | Belinda's night continues as the young-ish man on reception delivers a bottle of her favorite Chardonnay, some lovely turkey sandwiches, and of course, sexual pleasure. |
| S1E12 | 'The Duchess Comes Clean' | 13 December 2015 | The next morning, Belinda returns to the chalet to free the Duchess, who admits that her participation in the tombola was beyond her control—and that she wants to be Belinda's sexual servant. |
| S1E13 | 'Monday Morning 7:45 am' | 20 December 2015 | Belinda and the Duchess enjoy a morning romp and part amicably before Belinda returns to her office. |
Series 2
Full title: Belinda Blinked; 2 The continuing story of, dripping sex, passion and big business deals.: Keep following the sexiest sales girl in business as she earns her huge bonus by removing her silk blouse.[3]
| Episode Title | Release date | Plot synopsis | |
|---|---|---|---|
| S2E1 | 'Ritz Spa Gossip' | 3 July 2016 | Belinda and Giselle enjoy a luxurious day at the Ritz Spa—and some gossip about what happened to Giselle at the charity tombola. |
| S2E2 | 'Amsterdammmm' | 10 July 2016 | Belinda heads to the Netherlands to meet with Peter at Rouse HQ. |
| S2E3 | 'The Dutchman's Leather Desk' | 17 July 2016 | The eccentric Dr. Robbins welcomes Belinda to Amsterdam with a rendezvous in his office—on his sumptuous leather desk. |
| S2E4 | 'Helga Turns It On' | 24 July 2016 | Robbins's secretary, Helga, joins in on the fun at Rouse HQ. |
| S2E5 | 'Goedenavond Peter' | 31 July 2016 | Belinda goes for a night on the town with Peter Rouse, and causes quite a scene during dinner at a fancy restaurant. |
| S2E6 | 'Casino Etoile, Amsterdam' | 7 August 2016 | After supper, Peter and Belinda head to the casino, where they meet the Russian entrepreneur Grigor Kalansky. Peter pursues Grigor's assistant Lara, leaving Belinda alone with the Russian. |
| S2E7 | 'The Countess Zara' | 14 August 2016 | Grigor brings Belinda to a secret club and introduces her to the Countess Zara. The three engage in a ménage à trois, on display in a shop window unbeknownst to Belinda. |
| S2E8 | 'Amsterdam to London Sky High' | 21 August 2016 | At the airport, Belinda meets a group of like-minded saleswomen and books a speaking engagement at the O2. On the flight home, she encounters a beautiful pilot named Hazel and enjoys some mutual sky-high pleasure. |
| S2E9 | 'Motivating the Sales Force' | 28 August 2016 | Back at Steele's, Belinda learns some sad news about her London Regional Sales Manager, Des Martin, and cheers him up with a little hanky-panky in the office. |
| S2E10 | 'Sir James Pops Up' | 4 September 2016 | While enjoying Friday evening drinks at the Pentra, Bella dishes about her time at the tombola. Sir James Godwin makes a surprise appearance. |
| S2E11 | 'Forsters of Knightsbridge, Dressage Outfitters to Royalty' | 11 September 2016 | Bella and Belinda go shopping for elegant horse riding gear. |
| S2E12 | 'The Fitting Bit' | 18 September 2016 | Still at Forsters, Belinda and Bella seduce the salesman taking their measurements. |
| S2E13 | 'Up, Up and Away' | 25 September 2016 | Bella and Belinda head to Texas on business and enjoy a VIP upgrade—and some sexual pleasures in B3—courtesy of Hazel the pilot. |
| S2E14 | 'Texas, USA' | 2 October 2016 | The girls land in America and flirt with tycoons at the Stirling hotel. Then, Jim himself pays Belinda a visit in her hotel suite and confesses that he has a secret! |
| S2E15 | 'Jim's Secret' | 9 October 2016 | Jim reveals his secret to Belinda: he's gotten a surgery that improved his penis size. Belinda is quick to enjoy the benefits of the procedure. |
| S2E16 | 'A Bit of Spaghetti Sauce' | 16 October 2016 | Belinda goes on a date with Jim's colleague, Hank Skank. Hank brings her to a Crankies soccer match, then out for an Italian dinner that ends in a sexy mess. |
| S2E17 | 'A Hot Afternoon at the Lazy P Ranch' | 23 October 2016 | Jim, Hank, Belinda and Bella celebrate a successful trip and helicopter out of town for an afternoon at the Lazy P Ranch. Belinda and Bella are entertained by a duo of sexy cowboys. Back in London, Belinda pegs Bella for a well-deserved promotion at Steele's. |
Series 3
Full title: Belinda Blinked; 3: The continuing erotic story of sexual activity, dripping action and even bigger business deals as Belinda relentlessly continues to earn her huge bonus.
| Episode title | Release date | Plot synopsis | |
|---|---|---|---|
| S3E1 | 'London; Thursday 15.55 Local Time' | 28 May 2017 | Tony agrees to Bella's promotion. Then, it's time for Belinda's big engagement at the O2, where she wows the audience with a nonstick tin wok giveaway. |
| S3E2 | 'Epsom Hall' | 4 June 2017 | Belinda reunites with the Duchess for a weekend at her lovely country home, and explores her collection of sex toys. |
| S3E3 | 'Dinner at the Duke's Table' | 11 June 2017 | Belinda enjoys dinner with the Duke and Duchess and their high-society guests, all the while at the mercy of the Duchess's silver bullet. |
| S3E4 | 'A Topless Ride' | 18 June 2017 | The Duchess brings Belinda to a posh riding event. The women get randy on the ride home, then tragedy strikes on Belinda's journey back to the city. |
| S3E5 | 'Accident or Emergency?' | 25 June 2017 | Dr. Marco Origuez comes to Belinda's rescue and brings her back to London to evaluate her injuries. |
| S3E6 | 'Mr. Claus Bloch' | 2 July 2017 | Belinda attends a posh lunch meeting with Claus Bloch, and seals the deal with an animalistic sexual rendezvous. |
| S3E7 | 'The Chocolate Fountain' | 9 July 2017 | Belinda heads to Belgium to meet with Alfonse Stirbacker. He brings her to a chocolate factory, where an attractive female chocolatier seduces Belinda in her enormous chocolate fountain. |
| S3E8 | 'A F*cking Good Time' | 16 July 2017 | Alfonse takes Belinda to an exclusive party at a members' club, which turns out to be a sex game. |
| S3E9 | 'Yorkshire' | 23 July 2017 | Back in England, Belinda heads up to God's Own Country to meet with Yorkshire RSM Ken Dewsbury and resolve issues with a distributor—the only way she knows how. |
| S3E10 | 'Ken Dewsbury's Cellar' | 30 July 2017 | Ken hosts Belinda at his basement flat in Leeds. |
| S3E11 | 'Cock-A-Doodle-Flew' | 6 August 2017 | The Glee Team heads out for Giselle's hen do on a plane chartered by Hazel. |
| S3E12 | 'Butch the Sunburnt Kid' | 13 August 2017 | Giselle's hen do continues into the evening, and the Glee Team meets a young Swedish man who wishes to lose his virginity and learn about standard sex from them. |
| S3E13 | 'A Schweinsteiger Afternoon' | 20 August 2017 | Des Martin brings Belinda to Bargain Basementland, where she meets the Schweinsteiger siblings. |
| S3E14 | 'Belinda's Spiral Staircase' | 27 August 2017 | After a successful day of business dealings, Belinda takes Des Martin home for a rendezvous at her central London apartment. |
| S3E15 | 'East Berlin' | 3 September 2017 | Herr Bish, a competitor to Steele's, meets with his mysterious "Special One" to discuss their plans to take over the world of pots and pans. |
Series 4
Full title: Belinda Blinked 4;: An erotic story of sexual prowess, sexy characters and even bigger business deals whilst the darkness increases;
| Episode title | Release date | Plot synopsis | |
|---|---|---|---|
| S4E1 | 'Dearly Beloved' | 28 August 2018 | Tony and Giselle's wedding day arrives, and Belinda gets ready to impress the congregation with some help from Chiara Montague. Bella and Belinda enjoy a little tête-à-tête as the wedding begins. However, a mysterious figure arrives at the wedding, catching Belinda's suspicions. |
| S4E2 | 'Tony's Secret' | 3 September 2018 | The reception begins and Belinda gossips with Bella, Gregor, and the Countess Zara. (Maeve, the new receptionist, is a hot talking point in particular.) The mysterious figure is revealed to be Tony's long-lost brother George, who arrives to reunite with his family. On her way to the loos, Belinda reunites with Jim Sterling, causing some devastation to the wedding cake. |
| S4E3 | 'Cubicle Confessions' | 10 September 2018 | Belinda bumps into Doctor Robbins and his assistant/girlfriend Helga. A visibly worried Helga draws Belinda's attention and leads her to the bathroom for a private conversation. After some fun with Belinda, Helga reveals to her that she is an undercover FBI agent working in corporate espionage and informs Belinda of the existence of the "Special One". |
| S4E4 | 'Zachariah's Magic Wand' | 17 September 2018 | Belinda joins The Duchess and Lucia for a girls' night at the Ritz, followed by a trip to a mysterious underground nightclub. The ladies are charmed by Zachariah, the club's proprietor, whose tamarisk flute provides some smoky fun. |
| S4E5 | 'Turkey Sandwich?' | 24 September 2018 | Back at the Ritz, Belinda enjoys a midnight snack—and a sexy reunion—with Sam, the young-ish man who's been promoted from Horse and Jockey night receptionist to Ritz manager! |
| S4E6 | 'Pots, Pans and Spoons' | 1 October 2018 | Belinda calls a top-secret meeting with Tony and Sir James Godwin to get to the bottom of the Tri-Oxy Brillo conspiracy. Then, she meets a mysterious fellow, Agent James Spooner, for drinks at the Pentra. |
| S4E7 | 'Copier Blues' | 8 October 2018 | Belinda brings Agent Spooner into Steele's HQ. There, Spooner poses undercover as an IT tech in hopes to uncover the secret mole working in the company. |
| S4E8 | 'Cricklewood Pumping Station' | 15 October 2018 | Giselle momentarily disregards her wedding vows for a romp with Agent Spooner, including a skinny dip in the local reservoir. |
| S4E9 | 'Boy She Can Can' | 22 October 2018 | After a bit of grooming and her bi-daily meeting with the RSMs, Belinda takes off for a trip to Paris—and the legendary burlesque parlor, Le Moulin Maron—where she meets a rotund beauty. |
| S4E10 | 'Clit Talk' | 29 October 2018 | Belinda and Penelope head into the eye of Le Moulin Maron for "feeding time" with Mistress Sweetjuice. Then, Belinda jets off to Scotland, where she's secretly pursued by Agent Spooner. |
| S4E11 | 'The Meet' | 5 November 2018 | With Spooner in pursuit and danger afoot, Belinda reunites with Helga. |
| S4E12 | 'A Factory Visit' | 12 November 2018 | Belinda and the Glee Team head to the Steele's factory for a tour with Professor Slints, culminating in the grand unveiling of the Tri-Oxy Brillo range! |
| S4E13 | 'The Wicked-ish Bisch' | 19 November 2018 | Series finale. The identity of Herr Bisch's Special One is revealed, and Steele's prepares to defend itself as the double agent delivers industry secrets to East Berlin. |
Series 5
Full title: Belinda Blinked 5: Belinda Blumenthal, worldwide Sales Director of Steeles Pots and Pans is in big trouble. Can the sexiest girl in sales continue to remove her brassiere whilst the evil grows.
| Episode Title | Release date | Plot synopsis | |
|---|---|---|---|
| S5E1 | 'The Aftermath' | 9 September 2019 | After a devastating explosion in the Steele's Pots and Pans car park, lives hang in the balance as The Special One continues to plot against the members of the Confidential Order of Cookware Knights. |
| S5E2 | 'Beep...Beep...Beeeeeep' | 16 September 2019 | The members of the Confidential Order of Cookware Knights hold vigil at Bella's bedside as she fights for her life. |
| S5E3 | 'The Safe House' | 23 September 2019 | Belinda arrives at the safe house of the Confidential Order of Cookware Knights, where she, Tony and the newest member of the Glee Team try out the 'Hump and Skunk'. |
| S5E4 | 'Showering Ideas' | 30 September 2019 | As part of her spy training, Belinda is taken to acting school, where she puts on a performance for her teacher. |
| S5E5 | 'Smiffy' | 7 October 2019 | Belinda and Spooner head to East Berlin undercover in an effort to find Professor Slinz and bring Herr Bisch and the Special One to justice. |
| S5E6 | 'Clean As A Whistleblower' | 14 October 2019 | Belinda and Spooner are still undercover in East Berlin and prepare to dine with Bisch. The Special One's vagina gets her into trouble. |
| S5E7 | 'A Gentleman Woof' | 21 October 2019 | Belinda and Spooner come face to face with Bisch, but everything doesn't go quite to plan. A fan favourite makes a shocking return in the biggest clit hanger of the series so far. |
| S5E8 | 'M's The Word' | 28 October 2019 | Belinda discovers the identity of the head of British intelligence, who informs her that the Special One and her accomplice have fled to Australia. As Belinda prepares to give chase, she recruits Bella for the mission. |
| S5E9 | 'A Flying Machine So Pretty' | 4 November 2019 | Belinda and Bella make their way to Australia to find the Special One and bump into an old friend en route... |
| S5E10 | 'Star Crossed Lovin' ' | 11 November 2019 | Belinda and Bella arrive in Sydney for their top secret mission to find the Special One. But they seem to be more pre-occupied with trying to get Steele's Pots and Pans on Cosmo Macaroon's cooking show... |
| S5E11 | 'A B, a B and a Q' | 18 November 2019 | Belinda and Bella continue their romp around Australia before things take a sinister turn... |
| S5E12 | 'Two Clits In The Clink' | 25 November 2019 | In the penultimate chapter, Bella and Belinda are stuck behind bars as James Spooner makes a plan to rescue them. |
| S5E13 | 'Fight or Flight' | 9 December 2019 | Belinda, Bella, and Spooner come face-to-face with Bisch, the Special One and her accomplice in a dramatic showdown. But will everyone make it out in one piece? (Note: The finale was initially delayed for one week due to the 2019 London Bridge stabbing.)[4] |
References
- Sawyer, Miranda. "My dad wrote a porno – and I turned it into a podcast". The Guardian. Retrieved 5 August 2017.
- "Belinda Blinked; 1 A modern story of sex, erotica and passion. How the sexiest sales girl in business earns her huge bonus by being the best at removing her high heels". Amazon.com. Retrieved 4 January 2019.
- "Belinda Blinked; 2 The continuing story of, dripping sex, passion and big business deals.: Keep following the sexiest sales girl in business as she earns her huge bonus by removing her silk blouse". Amazon.com. Retrieved 4 January 2019.
- @dadwroteaporno (1 December 2019). "In light of the incident at London Bridge on Friday, we have decided to postpone our final episode. Due to the nature of the content, Chapter 13 of 'Belinda Blinked 5' will now be released on Monday 9th December. Our thoughts are with all those affected. Team Porno x". @dadwroteaporno. Retrieved 9 December 2019.
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