Klown Kamp Massacre
Klown Kamp Massacre is a 2010 American horror film written and directed by Philip H. R. Gunn and David Valdez. They have been writing and directing films together for over fifteen years.[1]
| Klown Kamp Massacre | |
|---|---|
| Directed by | Philip H. R. Gunn David Valdez |
| Produced by | Armando Kirwin |
| Written by | Philip Gunn |
| Starring | Jared Herholtz Ross Kelly |
| Music by | Kaleb Wentzel-Fisher |
| Cinematography | Luis M. Robinson |
| Edited by | Philip H. R. Gunn David Valdez |
Production company | I Can't Believe It's Not Hollywood! Entertainment[1] |
| Distributed by | Troma Entertainment |
Release date |
|
Running time | 84 minutes |
| Country | United States |
| Language | English |
Plot
On May 15, 1991, after massacring the entirety of Bonzo's Ranch, Edwin the Clown (Jared Herholtz) tapes a confession that he intends to send to his mother, showing all the people he murdered in various and comedic ways. He continues with the tour of the school until he finds and angrily scalps his roommate for having such a filthy bed. Fifteen years later, Edwin is watching television when he suddenly sees Bonzo (Mike Miller) announcing that he's reopening Clown Camp at his ranch, sending Edwin into a rage.
The movie then begins with clowns Vinnie (Nick Lopez) and Lenny Boboski (Reuben Finkelstein) entering a gas station to buy food and supplies before they head to Bonzo's Ranch. Outside, they meet up with Tipsy (Matt Sanford) and Brandi (Tara Hahn) before they're stopped by Crazy Ernie (Kevin R. Elder) telling them not to go to "Camp Sparkling Lake" since there's a "Death Curse" with a man wearing a football helmet stalking the place. Brandi corrects him saying they're going to Bonzo's Ranch, to which Crazy Ernie sends them on their way. As they leave, he questions to himself "Or was there a death curse up there too?"
Philbert (Ross Kelly) then appears walking into the camp meeting other students, Puff (Chris Payne) and Squirts (Sandor Gattyan). The film then transitions to Edwin picking up a female Hippy clown who's also headed to Bonzo's Ranch, who gets high in his magic clown car and after he drives past the ranch, he drives into a field and goes around in a small circle so quickly, her head is crushed against his car window. Back at the camp, all of the students wait for the first lesson until Sergeant Thaddeus Funnybones the Third (Miguel Martinez) arrives and introduces himself as their teacher. Another teacher, Tex (Chad Brummet) (A rodeo clown) shows no faith in their abilities while Bonzo thinks they'll do just fine. When Tex calls all of them "losers", Bonzo tells Tex to go and start baling some hay. Valerie (Kerri Duabe) finally arrives late to the class and Sergeant Funnybones tells her off for it, asking "You think you're too good to be a clown?" which triggers a PTSD flashback for Valerie to when her father asked the same question before beating her with a belt.
Tex is still baling hay as ordered when the machine is suddenly sabotaged by Edwin with a whoopee cushion. When Tex investigates and takes it out, he is shoved inside of the hay packer alive and comes out a bloody mess with only his hat surviving. For the next lesson, all the students watch a slideshow on the history of Clowns, including clowning being "the second oldest profession in history" behind prostitution. During the lesson, Philbert tries flirting with Valerie by making her a balloon pirate sword, but she mistakenly thinks he made a penis to be a pervert. Later that night around a campfire, Butzer Pie (Isaac Kappy) tells the story of Edwin the Clown, how he went to Bonzo's Ranch fifteen years ago to follow his dreams in becoming a real circus clown. The only problem was, Edwin failed every class and was never perceived as being funny, only annoying. On the last day of camp, Edwin has one final chance to succeed, stand-up comedy. He gets another student to join him on stage intending for him to sit on a whoopee cushion his mother gave him, but just as the student sits on it, another student in the audience answers his phone when it loudly rings, ruining his act. Edwin begs for another chance, only for the others to yell at him and pelt him with pies until he runs off. The next day, he commits his massacre, dumps the bodies into Sparkling Lake, and then goes into hiding.
The next day, the students gather around for breakfast when Squirts (Sandor Gattyan) shows Valerie one of his perverted jokes which gives her another PTSD flashback of a time when Valerie's father raped her as a child. Philbert tries to comfort her when she runs off, only to be told she doesn't want to be a clown and that Bonzo wanted her to be one since she's his Granddaughter. They later arrive late to the next lesson, pie throwing, and Philbert takes all the blame for them being late. Sergeant Funnybones punishes Philbert by forcing him and Puff to move a barrel of Seltzer up a hill, but abandon it after Butzer Pie and Puff get into a fight after Puff insults his music taste. They stumble across where Edwin has been staying and quickly leave. Sergeant Funnybones goes to check on them since they've been taking so long, finding the barrel abandoned. Suddenly, Edwin the Clown starts laughing at him and Sergeant Funnybones chases him until he gets stabbed through his face with a butcher's knife. Back at the camp, Edwin finally finds Bonzo and hangs him inside of his bathroom after he takes his prescription medicine to make it look like a suicide, so no one will think he's killed anyone yet. Philbert then meets up with Valerie again, where she thanks him for comforting her after the pie range incident, and he offers her to join him later with his friends to drink beer though she initially declines.
Brandi and Tipsy sneak off to have sex in a private bedroom, during which Edwin makes a noise to force Tipsy to investigate when Brandi to get scared so Edwin can decapitate her with a hatchet off-screen without Tipsy knowing. Edwin also slits Squirts throat while he was masturbating while watching them through their window. Tipsy then starts having sex with her dead body, not knowing due to the lack of lights, until Edwin shows him her severed head and then kills him off-camera. Philbert returns to Puff, Gerald (Daniel Gutierrez), and Butzer Pie with beer and prostitutes. Valerie shows up with a beer at first changing her mind, but is disgusted with them and leaves. The next day during the seltzer spraying lesson taught by Bananas, the last living teacher, Edwin switches Lenny's seltzer sprayer with acid which melts off most of Vinnie's face, though he survives. Lenny runs off horrified at thinking he accidentally killed his friend until he finds a whipped cream pie in the middle of a field and starts eating it, not seeing a stick of dynamite sticking out of it until it blows up his head.
Crazy Ernie is trying to get to Bonzo's Ranch as fast as he can to warn them about Edwin, only to be arrive at Camp Sparkling Lake where he meets the football helmet wearing murderer and gets hit by a car off-screen, making the unnamed murderer sadly walk back to his camp. Back at Bonzo's Ranch, the remaining students try their best to take care of Vinnie even though it's highly unlikely he'll survive due to most of his head being melted off. Butzer then finally finds Bonzo's hanging body and discover Edwin is at the camp murdering everyone. Puff, Philbert, and Valerie stay at the camp to try and take care of Vinnie while Butzer and Gerald try escaping. Edwin quickly finds them and after Butzer abandons him, Gerald tries reasoning with Edwin only to have his head smashed with a high striker game mallet. Edwin then finds Butzer not too far away and punches through his chest, ripping out his heart in the process.
While Philbert tries to comfort Valerie while she mourns over Bonzo, he sits down on Edwin's whoopee cushion, discovering he's close by. When they hear a glass break, they run to check on Vinnie, finding him to just be resting. However, Edwin comes out of the closet and attacks the four with a knife and accidentally finishes off Vinnie when he stabs him in the chest. Valerie and Philbert escape while Edwin captures Puff. Valerie stops running after a while to reveal that when she was young, she shot and killed her father in self-defense when he tried to rape her once again. Bonzo framed a gardener who couldn't speak English, bribed the judge, and lied to reporters to save his reputation. Valerie however feels like the deaths of everyone at the camp is her fault since if Bonzo didn't lose his TV show, he would have never reopened the camp and Edwin's murders would have never have happened. Edwin then appears in his magic car again and starts chasing the two down until they split up and he goes after Philbert who hides in a tree thinking he's safe, but Edwin's car can fly and he runs Philbert over while he's in the tree.
Valerie runs off to Edwin's hiding place, not knowing it's his, to look for help. Meanwhile, Edwin returns home with all of the bodies stored in his car and when he hears Valerie cry out "Oh my god!" when she finds the pie and knife used to kill Sergeant Funnybones, he goes inside to investigate. He chases her around his home until she's cornered in the basement. Bananas returns to attempt to save Valerie and successfully fights Edwin for while, until he pushed Bananas against a wall and snaps his neck while he's dizzy. Valerie tries escaping again but slips on Banana's Banana and knocks herself out. When she wakes up, Valerie finds herself chained to the wall and everyone who was killed (Except for Crazy Ernie) set up as audience members at the very same stage Edwin was humiliated at. When Valerie asks why Edwin is doing this, he says this is his second chance at becoming a real clown. In the middle of his act, once again, a phone starts ringing and it turns out to be Bonzo's phone. Edwin angrily crushes Bonzo's skull with a mic stand before he starts his next act, sawing an assistant in half. He wheels out Puff and when's he revealed to still be alive, Edwin saws through him anyway until he's dead. For his final act, he makes Valerie his assistant and forces her to sit down on his whoopee cushion.
When she does, there's a moment of silence and suddenly everyone in the crowd starts laughing, revealing that the events of the movie were all one big and elaborate prank TV show You've Been Clown'd!, with Valerie as the winner. Bonzo reveals to Valerie he was in on it the whole time so he could be on national television again. It's also revealed that Edwin was none other than Vic Vickers (Lloyd Kaufman). During the credits, the final reveal of the movie is that due to her trauma, Valerie had to be sent to an insane asylum. The real Edwin the Clown watches this all unfold on TV and angrily exclaims he'll kill all of them for doing this to Valerie.
Cast
- Jared Herholtz as Edwin
- Mike Miller as Bonzo
- Miguel Martinez as Sergeant Thaddeus Funnybones the Third
- Lloyd Kaufman as Vic Vickers
- Chris Payne as Puff
- Isaac Kappy as Buzter Pie
- Ross Kelly as Philbert
- Kerri Duabe as Valerie
- Daniel Gutierrez as Gerald
- Sandor Gattyan as Squirts
- Kevin R. Elder as Crazy Ernie/Flopsy McCool
- Tara Hahn as Brandi
- Jon Boltz as Valerie's Father
- Chad Brummet as Tex
- Nick Lopez as Vinnie
- Reuben Finkelstein as Lenny Bobowski
- Matt Sanford as Tipsy
- Henry Atencio as Judge
- George Bach as Unsolved Clown Murders Host
- Melissa Collins as Edwin's Mom (Voice)
- Peter Lane as Football Killer
Reception
HorrorNews.net gave the film a favourable review mentioning that it "delivers the gore while maintaining a tongue-in-cheek atmosphere.[2] Ryan's Review gave the film an 8/10 with a good review.[3] Jeremy Biltz from DVD Talk gave the film 3/5 stars, writing, "Klown Kamp Massacre is a film that goes for the gag with delighted abandon, and doesn't really care what taboos or sacred cows it runs down in the process. It's not exactly a high quality endeavor, but it delivers enough laughs and fun gore effects that it works for the thin slice of the slasher comedy genre it's aiming at."[4]
References
- "A Chat with 'Klown Kamp Massacre' Director David Valdez". fearfete.com. Archived from the original on 2012-06-16. Retrieved 2012-07-02.
- Van Croft, Angel (2011-06-04). "Film Review: Klown Kamp Massacre (2010)". horrornews.net. Retrieved 2012-07-02.
- "Klown Kamp Massacre (2010)". lownobudgetreviews.wordpress.com. 2011-03-08. Retrieved 2012-07-02.
- Blitz, Jeremy. "Klown Kamp Massacre : DVD Talk Review of the DVD Video". DVD Talk.com. Jeremy Blitz. Retrieved 11 September 2018.