If You Buy This Record (Your Life Will Be Better)

"If You Buy This Record (Your Life Will Be Better)" (also titled without the parentheses) is a song by The Tamperer featuring Maya. The song samples Madonna's 1985 hit, "Material Girl".[2] It was released in Europe on 2 November 1998 and reached number three on the UK Singles Chart six days later. It also peaked within the top 10 in Denmark, Finland, Ireland and Italy. In the United States and Canada, it was given a release in early 1999, becoming a dance hit in both countries.

"If You Buy This Record (Your Life Will Be Better)"
Single by The Tamperer featuring Maya
from the album Fabulous
Released	2 November 1998 (Europe)[1] 1999 (North America)
Length	4:30 (original version)
Label	TIME (Italy) Pepper (UK) Jive (Europe, North America) Mushroom (Australia)
Songwriter(s)	Peter Brown Robert Rans L. Dias Jim Dyke Steve Gittelman
Producer(s)	G. Saglia Mario Fargetta Alex Farolfi
The Tamperer featuring Maya singles chronology
"Feel It" (1998) "If You Buy This Record (Your Life Will Be Better)" (1998) "Hammer to the Heart" (1999)

Critical reception

Larry Flick from Billboard wrote that "as clever as peanut butter and chocolate, this full-on camp follow-up to (...) "Feel It" rewrites the instrumental hook of Madonna's "Material Girl" and wraps it around a super-catchy lyrical chant about how "f- f- f- f- f -f -f- fabulous" you'll be with this little ditty in hand." He noted further that "you can't deny its truth, given the adhesive sing-along verses about the improvements in life that Miss Days has seen since buying herself a piece of this musical carnival. The beat also hammers home with the potency of a massive facial tick, delivering the signature bass rollick that has ignited this group across much of Europe." He also stated that their only complaint is that "at 3:08, it's just too short", and added "take it to the beach, in the car, and impress your roommates with this care-free romp that couldn't deliver the season's fun quotient with any more good cheer."[3]

British trade paper Music Week named "If You Buy This Record" its "Single of the Week" on their 17 October 1998 issue. Despite calling the track "cheesier than a bucket of fondue", the paper described the "Material Girl" sample as "irresistibly infectious" and referred to its title as "one of the cheekiest claims ever made".[2]

Chart performance

In the Tamperer's native Italy, the track peaked at number four on the Musica e dischi chart.[4] It was a top-three success in the United Kingdom, where it debuted and peaked at number three on 8 November 1998,[5] topping the UK Indie Chart the same week.[6] It earned a silver certification in the UK for shipping over 200,000 units and ended 1998 as the country's 59th-best-selling hit.[7][8] In neighbouring Ireland, it reached number six,[9] while across Europe, it peaked inside the top 20 in Austria,[10] Flanders,[11] Denmark,[12] Finland,[13] the Netherlands,[14] and Sweden.[15] On the Eurochart Hot 100, it rose to number eight on 28 November 1998.[16]

"If You Buy This Record" experienced moderate success outside Europe. In New Zealand, the single peaked at number 11 for two nonconsecutive weeks in February 1999, staying in the top 20 for 10 weeks and the top 50 for 16 weeks.[17] In Australia, it repeatedly entered and exited the top 50 in early 1999, attaining its peak of number 27 on 17 January 1999.[18] The song was also successful on the American and Canadian dance charts, peaking in popularity in May 1999. In the former country, it reached number 15 on the Billboard Hot Dance Club Play chart and number 16 on the Billboard Hot Dance Singles Sales listing.[19][20] On Canada's RPM Dance chart, the song achieved a peak of number four on the issue of 3 May 1999.[21]

Track listings

Italian 12-inch single[22] A1. "If You Buy This Record (Your Life Will Be Better)" (original version) – 4:30 A2. "If You Buy This Record (Your Life Will Be Better)" (airplay mix) – 3:30 B1. "If You Buy" (extended mix) – 5:00 UK 12-inch single[23] A1. "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (Sharp Blasted Master Remix) – 8:40 A2. "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (Dope Smugglaz Remix) – 6:27 B1. "Feel It" (Klubbheads Klubb Mix) – 7:29 UK CD single[24] "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (radio edit) – 3:29 "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (Sharp Blasted Master Remix Edit) – 6:20 "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (Dope Smugglaz Remix) – 6:27 European CD single[25] "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (radio edit) – 3:29 "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (extended mix) – 5:00 European CD single – cardboard sleeve[17] "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (radio edit) – 3:30 "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (Sharp Blasted Master Remix Edit) – 6:14

Australian maxi-CD[26] "If You Buy This Record (Your Life Will Be Better)" (Radio Edit) – 3:29 "If You Buy This Record (Your Life Will Be Better)" (Sharp Blasted Master Remix Edit) – 6:20 "If You Buy This Record (Your Life Will Be Better)" (Dope Smugglaz Remix) – 6:27 "If You Buy This Record (Your Life Will Be Better)" (Extended Mix) – 5:00 "Feel It" (Blunt Edit) – 3:15 US 12-inch single[27] A1. "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (Thunderpuss 2000 Club Mix) – 7:58 A2. "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (original extended) – 4:45 A3. "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (Thunderpuss Beats) – 3:25 B1. "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (Ralphi's 12-inch vocal) – 8:12 B2. "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (Thunderpuss 2000 Dub instrumental) – 6:49 US maxi-CD[28] "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (radio mix) – 3:08 "If You Buy Fabulous" (Thunderpuss 2000 Club Mix) – 7:58 "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (original extended) – 4:47 "If You Buy Fabulous" (Thunderpuss Beats) – 3:25 "If You Buy Fabulous" (Ralphi's 12-inch vocal) – 8:12 "If You Buy Fabulous" (Thunderpuss 2000 Dub instrumental) – 6:49

Charts

Weekly charts Chart (1998–99) Peak position Australia (ARIA)[18] 37 Austria (Ö3 Austria Top 40)[10] 18 Belgium (Ultratop 50 Flanders)[11] 20 Belgium (Ultratop 50 Wallonia)[29] 29 Canada Dance/Urban (RPM)[21] 4 Denmark (IFPI)[12] 8 Europe (Eurochart Hot 100)[16] 8 Finland (Suomen virallinen lista)[13] 9 France (SNEP)[30] 60 Germany (Official German Charts)[31] 74 Iceland (Íslenski Listinn Topp 40)[32] 33 Ireland (IRMA)[9] 6 Italy (Musica e dischi)[4] 4 Netherlands (Dutch Top 40)[14] 15 Netherlands (Single Top 100)[33] 18 New Zealand (Recorded Music NZ)[17] 11 Scotland (OCC)[34] 2 Sweden (Sverigetopplistan)[15] 20 UK Singles (OCC)[5] 3 UK Indie (OCC)[6] 1 US Dance Club Songs (Billboard)[19] 15 US Hot Dance Singles Sales (Billboard)[20] 16

Year-end charts Chart (1998) Position UK Singles (Official Charts Company)[8][35] 59

Certifications

Region	Certification	Certified units/sales
United Kingdom (BPI)[7]	Silver	200,000^^
^^shipments figures based on certification alone

References

1. "Delayed Releases" (PDF). Music Week. 24 October 1998. p. 12. Retrieved 11 September 2020.
2. "Reviews – Single of the Week" (PDF). Music Week. 17 October 1998. p. 10. Retrieved 1 October 2020.
3. "Single Reviews" (PDF). Billboard. Vol. 111 no. 19. 8 May 1999. p. 19. Retrieved 10 February 2020.
4. "Top National Sellers" (PDF). Music & Media. Vol. 15 no. 46. 14 November 1998. p. 12. Retrieved 27 November 2019.
5. "Official Singles Chart Top 100". Official Charts Company. Retrieved 7 November 2018.
6. "Official Independent Singles Chart Top 50". Official Charts Company. Retrieved 7 November 2018.
7. "British single certifications – Tamperer The (ft Maya) – If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better". British Phonographic Industry. Retrieved 11 September 2020.
8. "Best Sellers of 1998 – Singles Top 100". Music Week. 16 January 1999. p. 7.
9. "The Irish Charts – Search Results – If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better". Irish Singles Chart. Retrieved 7 November 2018.
10. "Austriancharts.at – The Tamperer feat. Maya – If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (in German). Ö3 Austria Top 40.
11. "Ultratop.be – The Tamperer feat. Maya – If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (in Dutch). Ultratop 50.
12. "Top National Sellers" (PDF). Music & Media. Vol. 16 no. 4. 23 January 1999. p. 11. Retrieved 31 October 2019.
13. "The Tamperer feat. Maya: If You Buy This Record You Will Feel Better" (in Finnish). Musiikkituottajat – IFPI Finland.
14. "Nederlandse Top 40 – week 49, 1998" (in Dutch). Dutch Top 40 Retrieved 7 November 2018.
15. "Swedishcharts.com – The Tamperer feat. Maya – If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better". Singles Top 100.
16. "Eurochart Hot 100 Singles" (PDF). Music & Media. Vol. 15 no. 48. 28 November 1998. p. 13. Retrieved 1 October 2020.
17. "Charts.nz – The Tamperer feat. Maya – If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better". Top 40 Singles.
18. "Australian-charts.com – The Tamperer feat. Maya – If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better". ARIA Top 50 Singles.
19. "The Tamperer featuring Maya Days Chart History (Dance Club Songs)". Billboard. Retrieved 14 August 2019.
20. "The Tamperer featuring Maya Days Chart History (Dance Singles Sales)". Billboard. Retrieved 6 February 2020.
21. "Top RPM Dance/Urban: Issue 8141." RPM. Library and Archives Canada. Retrieved 7 November 2018.
22. "If You Buy This Record (Your Life Will Be Better)" – Italian 12-inch single (Vinyl disc). The Tamperer featuring Maya. TIME Records. 1998. TIME 129.CS1 maint: others (link)
23. "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" – UK 12-inch single (Vinyl disc). The Tamperer featuring Maya. Pepper Records. 1998. 0530081.CS1 maint: others (link)
24. "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" – UK CD single (Liner notes). The Tamperer featuring Maya. Pepper Records. 1998. 0530132.CS1 maint: others (link)
25. "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" – European CD single (Liner notes). The Tamperer featuring Maya. Jive Records. 1998. 0530152.CS1 maint: others (link)
26. "If You Buy This Record (Your Life Will Be Better)" – Australian maxi-CD (Liner notes). The Tamperer featuring Maya. Mushroom Records. 1998. MUSH01841.2.CS1 maint: others (link)
27. "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" – US 12-inch single (Vinyl disc). The Tamperer featuring Maya. Jive Records. 1999. 01241-42594-1.CS1 maint: others (link)
28. "If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" – US maxi-CD (CD sleeve). The Tamperer featuring Maya. Jive Records. 1999. 01241-42594-2.CS1 maint: others (link)
29. "Ultratop.be – The Tamperer feat. Maya – If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (in French). Ultratop 50.
30. "Lescharts.com – The Tamperer feat. Maya – If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (in French). Les classement single.
31. "Offiziellecharts.de – The Tamperer feat. Maya – If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better". GfK Entertainment Charts. Retrieved 7 November 2018.
32. "Íslenski Listinn (11.12–18.12. 1998)". Dagblaðið Vísir (in Icelandic). 11 December 1998. p. 12. Retrieved 4 October 2019.
33. "Dutchcharts.nl – The Tamperer feat. Maya – If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better" (in Dutch). Single Top 100.
34. "Official Scottish Singles Sales Chart Top 100". Official Charts Company. Retrieved 7 November 2018.
35. "Najlepsze single na UK Top 40–1998 wg sprzedaży" (in Polish). Archived from the original on 4 June 2015. Retrieved 30 April 2019.