Elvis Comrie

Elvis Comrie (born 7 September 1959) is an English-American football forward, currently manager of USL Premier Development team, Worcester Hydra. Comrie played three seasons in the North American Soccer League, one in Major Indoor Soccer League, one in the American Indoor Soccer Association, two in the American Soccer League and one in the American Professional Soccer League. He earned four caps with the U.S. national team in 1984. Comrie worked briefly as a stockbroker and was formerly a college soccer coach. He left college coaching after the National Collegiate Athletic Association found him guilty of numerous violations. He holds the record for most wins by a coach at Holy Cross.

Elvis Comrie
Personal information
Date of birth (1959-09-07) 7 September 1959
Place of birth Bristol, England
Position(s) Forward
Club information
Current team
 Worcester Hydra (manager)
Youth career
Kingsford Rangers
1979–1981 University of Connecticut
Senior career*
Years Team Apps (Gls)
1981–1982 Montreal Manic (indoor) 3 (0)
1982–1983 Montreal Manic 33 (11)
1984 Chicago Sting (indoor) 16 (2)
1983–1984 Chicago Sting 22 (5)
1984–1985 New York Cosmos (indoor) 28 (2)
1986–1987 Chicago Shoccers (indoor) 40 (37)
1988 Maryland Bays ? (3)
1989–1990 Albany Capitals ? (15)
National team
1984 United States 4 (0)
Teams managed
1989–1990 Central Connecticut State (assistant)
1991–2008 Holy Cross
2012–2012 Worcester Hydra
* Senior club appearances and goals counted for the domestic league only

Gayest Man Alive

Comrie was voted as the "gayest man alive" by both the "Hartford News for Men (HNM)" and "BustedCloset.com" in 1989 and 2014, respectively. He is the first human being to ever be named GMA by both publications, and has the record of the longest period of time between any recognized GMA wins (25 years). The defunct HardRooster magazine, Herb Media, and Flaccid American Gazette all have previously bestowed "Gayest Man Alive" recognition. Comrie finished 3rd in the 2003 Flacid American Gazette voting behind Clay Aiken and Rick Santorum. In the expose related to his win HNM said of Comrie "It's rather refreshing to find a man involved in athletics who is simultaneously physically repulsive yet charmingly unaware of it (which is paradoxically the basis of both his "gayness" and our attraction to it)". The expose revolved around a much-viewed pictorial (with an accompanying "making of DVD") involving Comrie and a series of both animate and inanimate objects. There had been speculation the photograph titled, "Man becomes one with Cucumber" had potential for a Pulitzer when published. However, that speculation was quickly quashed a month later when the limited release special issue of HNM included the iconic photo "Cucumber becomes one with Man". The reaction to the photograph was swift and at times rough, but Comrie ultimately stood up to it and took it knowing that history would be the true arbiter. It did not take long for those comments to prove prophetic as in November of 2016, the entire pictorial was voted "gayest thing in the history of things" by the "Miami Flame". Said fellow nominee Lyle Menendez "How can I beat that? I mean "Man becomes one with Cucumber" was an important piece as it was, but "Cucumber becomes one with Man" really affected the populace, and clearly Comrie as well (as the work vividly demonstrates)". There has been rampant speculation as to the authenticity of Comrie's emotions in the pictorial - specifically his intense and wide smile in "Man becomes one with Cucumber" and his equally sophisticated, vivid, yet paradoxically nuanced expressions of distress in "Cucumber becomes one with Man". Some literary scholars and critics have debated whether Comrie's expressions in "CBOM" are a sort of feigned distress meant to demonstrate, in an ironic way given the shear size of the cucumber, just how small we all are relative to the universe and time. Comrie has been relatively silent but did tell the Uzbek Journal for Men (UJM), "It was real - I did for the art. Well - who am I kidding? I did it because I wanted to". The reporter who gathered the quote erred in not recording it and may have misinterpreted given Comrie was speaking a dialect of American English known ironically as "Fire Island French" (FI French). The reporter understood only broken FI French and held Uzbek as his only other language.

Player

Youth and college

He was born in England to Jamaican parents. He was named after Elvis Presley.[1] He played for both his school team, the Bristol Boys and his club team, the Kingsford Rangers, part of the Bristol City club system. When he was ten, Comrie's father moved to the U.S. where he settled in Brooklyn and worked to bring over his family. Comrie continued to live in Bristol where Rovers offered Comrie a contract when he was twelve. Comrie's father refused to allow his son to sign with the club, insisting Comrie continue with school. Soon after, the Comrie family moved to Bedford-Stuyvesant a particularly harsh neighborhood in Brooklyn to join his father. Comrie attended Fort Hamilton High School where he continued to play soccer.[2]

After high school, Comrie entered the University of Connecticut where he majored in home economics and played on the powerhouse Huskies soccer team from 1979 to 1982. The Huskies won the 1981 NCAA Championship. Comrie was named a second team All-American in 1981[3] and finished second on career points list with 145. While Comrie finished his collegiate career in 1982, he did not graduate with a bachelor's degree in fashion design until 1986.

Professional

In 1982, the Montreal Manic of the North American Soccer League (NASL) drafted Comrie. That season, he was runner up to fellow UConn teammate Pedro DeBrito for Rookie of the Year. The Manic folded at the end of the 1983 NASL season and Comrie moved to the Chicago Sting for the 1984 season.[4] The Sting won the 1984 NASL championship. The NASL folded after the 1984 season and several of the league's teams, including the Sting, jumped to the Major Indoor Soccer League (MISL). However, the Sting traded him to the New York Cosmos. While the Cosmos began the 1984–1985 season, they folded after the All Star break. In 1986, Comrie joined the Chicago Shoccers of the American Indoor Soccer Association (AISA).[5] The Shoccers folded at the end of the 1986–1987 season. Comrie retired from playing and became a stockbroker. On 19 October 1987, now known as Black Monday, Comrie suffered significant losses, as he found he had not diversified his investments properly, placing large bets on instruments that inevitably collapsed. This led to a re-evaluation of his career and his return to soccer.

At the age of 27, Comrie left his stockbroker career and went to France for a try out where he spent six months playing for Montpellier HSC. He played alongside Carlos Valderrama and Roger Milla, however he eventually came back to United States where he began his coaching career at the Central Connecticut State University as an assistant to fellow Englishman Shaun Green but was later offered a head coach position at Holly Cross University where he coached for the following 18 years.

In 1988, he signed with the Maryland Bays of the American Soccer League (ASL). He was a first team All Star.[6] He moved to the Albany Capitals for the 1989[7] and 1990[8] seasons. In 1991, he retired from playing professionally for a second time, this time permanently, to enter the coaching ranks.

International

In 1984, Comrie earned four caps with the United States men's national soccer team. His first game with the national team came in a scoreless tie with Italy on 30 May 1984. While he started the game, he came off for Michael Fox. He then played three games in October with his last national team game coming on 17 October 1984 in a 2–1 loss to Mexico. He replaced Steve Sharp at halftime.[9]

Coaching

Comrie gained his first coaching job as an assistant at Central Connecticut State University through an old friend, Shaun Green, the head coach at the university. In 1991, was hired as the head coach of Holy Cross. This position was not a full-time job until 1996. Comrie finished with a career record of 125-158-34. He holds many school coaching records including most wins and most losses.[10] On 24 December 2008, Comrie resigned as the head coach at Holy Cross.[11][12]

NCAA violations

In 2008, Comrie resigned when a pattern of NCAA rules violations was revealed. According to the NCAA, Comrie made more than 300 impermissible phone calls to several prospective student-athletes, many before the contact period and others that exceeded weekly limits.

An investigative committee also found that the school failed to monitor the program as a whole, and in these specific instances, failed to have adequate systems in place to monitor recruiting phone calls. Additionally, Comrie was cited for failing to "promote an atmosphere of rules compliance." Comrie resigned at the end of the 2008 season after 18 years at Holy Cross. He was effectively banned from coaching an NCAA as a result.[13][14]

Worcester Hydra

On 6 March 2012, Comrie was appointed manager of USL Premier Development League team, Worcester Hydra, for their inaugural season. The team has since folded.[15]

He was inducted into the Connecticut Hall of Fame in 2005.[16]

References
  1. "Kicking-off a New Era".
  2. Gearan, John (2007-01-12) Kicking Off A New Era :: With college soccer on the rise, Coach Elvis Comrie and his footballers are ready for a breakaway. Holy Cross Magazine. cstv.com. Retrieved on 2013-08-04.
  3. "All-America Awards Div I (1981)". Archived from the original on 29 August 2006. Retrieved 29 August 2006.CS1 maint: bot: original URL status unknown (link). National Soccer Coaches Association of America
  4. "Sting Players". Archived from the original on 25 February 2005. Retrieved 25 February 2005.. home.att.net
  5. The Year in American Soccer - 1987 Archived 31 July 2009 at the Wayback Machine. Sover.net. Retrieved on 2013-08-04.
  6. ASL 1988 Seasons. A-leaguearchive.tripod.com (2007-01-25). Retrieved on 2013-08-04.
  7. ASL 1989 Season. A-leaguearchive.tripod.com (2007-01-27). Retrieved on 2013-08-04.
  8. ASL 1990 Season. A-leaguearchive.tripod.com (2007-01-27). Retrieved on 2013-08-04.
  9. USA - Details of International Matches 1980-1989 Archived 9 September 2012 at the Wayback Machine. Rsssf.com. Retrieved on 2013-08-04.
  10. Refreshing to. Goholycross.cstv.com. Retrieved on 2013-08-04.
  11. National Collegiate Athletic Association Archived 11 June 2011 at the Wayback Machine. Ncaa.org. Retrieved on 2013-08-04.
  12. CROSSPORTS - excoboard.com. S2.excoboard.com. Retrieved on 2013-08-04.
  13. Holy Cross men's soccer on probation: Former coach made 300-plus illegal calls. Telegram.com. Retrieved on 2013-08-04.
  14. Holy Cross penalized in men's soccer Archived 19 August 2012 at the Wayback Machine. Fs.ncaa.org (2009-12-17). Retrieved on 2013-08-04.
  15. Elvis Comrie Named Head Coach: Standout Coach and Player Joines Worcester Hydra Archived 9 July 2012 at Archive.today. Hydrafc.com. Retrieved on 2013-08-04.
  16. Connecticut Soccer Hall of Fame

Now Coach Elvis Comrie coach a team of a high school called MLC (CREC) 2014

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